In this day and age, everything is speculated & criticised. Your work. Your social media content. Anything you do, someone has an opinion somewhere that you might not even know about. This is the world that we live in.
If you’re like me, the thought of any of these being negative petrifies you, and you’d go so far out of your way to try and win over everybody that you’ve ever encountered, physically or virtually, that you sometimes can’t find end meets. You juggle events, meet-ups, social events, work etc so that everyone is incorporated into what could be a short or long timespan. But still ends won’t meet. Plans fall through, you double book a day so you’re forced to make a choice, work means you can’t plan as accordingly as you thought.
Your friends and family say something similar to “you’re always doing too much at once” or “you burn the candle at both ends all the time!”. If you’re one of those people, I am with you. We try to do as much as we can because either are lives run by FOMO (fear of missing out) or that we always want to get the most out of opportunities so saying that dreadful word, no, seems impossible to even contemplate.
However, this leaves you with too much on your plate and then you stretch yourself until breaking point until this happens:
I took an emotional stumble of sorts a few nights ago. After returning from an amazing weekend with friends I hadn’t seen for at least a year, another event had been overthought to celebrate another event with others who I hadn’t seen in far too long the weekend after.
However, work was on the cards, and I did everything I could to try and get work off to attend but to no avail. This lead me to that evening wanting to go to the gym to let off steam from the situation that didn’t quite go my way.
I laid down on the bed, and just wept. Prolifically. Uncontrollable streams of tears trickling down my nose to soak the duvet sheet below. I never felt sadness come over me in such a wave before. It felt like permanently wiping out on a surfboard and constantly being tumbled by the water above. I felt weak and if nothing was going to go right for a long period of time. Thoughts got dark. In trying to get up, I maintained my mood with my head in my hands for what felt like hours, having what felt like a million thoughts rushing through my head faster than a particle in the Hardon Collider. It felt like a whirlpool was sucking me down into the darkest depths at an exponential speed, thinking that I’d get lost in it…
It took some long conversations and some venting with my girlfriend to get me on the beaten path.
What can be learnt from this?
- You can’t please everyone. It’s impossible, and even if you could, the only people you should putting your effort towards are those who would do the same for you.
- Organise your time – and don’t put off doing it. To avoid getting all up in sorts like above, try and organise your time – use a calendar, diary, journal.My favourite is a to-do list as it sets everything out in an organised fashion.
- You come first before anyone else. Your mental and physical health come before all else, before loved ones, family, friends, everyone. You need to take care of yourself before helping anyone else.[Think of yourself on a flight when they say that speech about oxygen masks when the cabin loses pressure. You have to put your own mask on before helping others – it’s the same with your wellbeing too!]
I highly believe in a quote from the book An Abundance of Katherines by John Green.
What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?
The best part in that the term remarkable, to the individual, can mean literally anything. Trying to find that remarkable moment/achievement takes different amounts of time for different people – I think this is one of the reasons why people to do much at once. They’re trying to shorten that time to get to that euphoric stage of self-accomplish and happiness, not enjoying the journey along the way. Other reasons are not being able to manage time effectively so things creep up on you when they’ve been forgotten on the back burner.
What I’m trying to say is, do as many things as you want to do within reason, planning ahead and making sure you’ve got times & dates set will let you realise if you’re able to take on more things. And sometimes saying no in the long run is actually the best answer at that time before seeing what time you have available.
It would be a shame to say you can’t do everything you want to do, because I’m all for living life to the fullest and being able to get the most out of – but that comes gradually, not all at once.